Ulelli: Hi, thanks for agreeing to do this project.
Nikita: No problem.
Ulelli: Tell me your name.
Nikita: Nikita Taylor.
Ulelli: And you from?
Ulelli: Belmont, Trinidad
Ulelli: Tell me what it’s like for you here in Trinidad, as person from LGBT community.
Nikita: Well, being a person of the LGBT community really and truly you meet all different kinds of people who discriminate against it, people who cool with it more or less what I tell people and I really have no problem with what people think in the sense that, if you have a certain orientation, my orientation shouldn’t bother you because at the end of the day, I know who to go around and who not to go around I believe, I know myself, I know what make people comfortable but I’m not allowing anybody to make uncomfortable with who I am. I’ve always been the way that I am ever since I young and coming out really and truly wasn’t something easy because people had a problem with it I didn’t had a problem with myself I was comfortable. I grow up to a tomboy I was playing with the boys them, I tried doing things to please people but it didn’t really make any sense because I wasn’t happy at the end of the day. So, why much I please people and I not pleasing myself.
Ulelli: What’s like growing up at home?
Nikita: I came from an all Christian family, I know what my mother expected of me, I tried to do what she expected of me but I will dress more comfortable being me, it didn’t mean that it is all cool Everybody will accept it , my mother didn’t accept it, I told my mother about it, she cried and to be quite honest, that was ok for me, I didn’t lie, I didn’t hide it from her, my grandmother was cool with it doesn’t mean that I’m a different person, I’m still her grandchild and she still loves me, my father, he really don’t know and I don’t think he really cares but that was just me I was just comfortable with who I was.
Ulelli: Tell me about your gender expression, the way you express yourself, you being dressing like this long or
Nikita: I being dressing like this, mommy want to put me in a skirt, I want to be in a pant, I wear what I comfortable in and if boys clothing is what I comfortable in, I good with that, I don’t care what nobody feel about how I dress, I like how I dress, I comfortable in it. From growing, I hated a fitted pants, I just like how I dress.
Ulelli: Is it hard to walk down the street dressed like this?
Nikita: No, not for me.
Ulelli: No one heckles you?
Nikita: No one heckles me, what people ah do, I don’t really take them on, if you don’t like it, that’s you affair, everybody entitled to their opinion, at the end of the day this is me, this is me expressing me, I like the way I dress I’m comfortable in the way I dress, who don’t like me well, too bad for them.
Ulelli: When you dress like this, ok people sometimes will say she dress like that because she wants to be a man
Nikita: Yea …
Ulelli: Things like that …
Nikita: Yea and I will just fish them up, I love, I will just fish them up …
Ulelli: What do you mean?
Nikita: Alright, you tell me like I want to be a man or I feel I is a man, I say well, at the end of the day, I pretty much will take the girl from them.
Ulelli: You will take?
Nikita: I will take the girl from them, if you feel I is a man, I tell them that and girl didn’t have a problem since she was here last well that kind of disrespectful in a way because you come to me disrespectful so I put up my defenses one time, I really have no problem with no body and most people like me because of my personality, it does not take away from me this is the way I am, I like girls, I like girls, if you don’t like that, you have to deal with it. I’m accepted by most people and for the few people who don’t like it, is only one person and I good, I have to answer for me at the end of the day and I just being me.
Ulelli: So you friend told me you went to church today, what’s it like, I mean you will dress like this to go to church?
Nikita: No, I can’t dress like this to go to church because of my religion, I’m Spiritual Baptist, I have to conform to the dress code, so I do have my spiritual cloths to go to church and I don’t feel no particular way, I feel comfortable most people with a certain sense of spirituality would see for what I am but it doesn’t take away.
Ulelli: When you say special cloths …
Nikita: No with the Baptist, we cannot wear pants as females, it is not allowed in the church so we have to wear our spiritual dresses because we were baptized as part of the rule of the church.
Ulelli: Is it like long gowns or …
Nikita: Long gowns
Ulelli: And everybody would …
Nikita: Everybody would, and head tie, all females would wear it, the males would dress as they are but I don’t have no problem with it, is my spirituality, is my religion, I follow my religion, my religion does not take away from who I am.
Ulelli: And how do they receive you in the church?
Nikita: Everyone gets along with me, they don’t show me no bad face, my religion, they have no problem, I mean they will speak the doctrine, we know what the doctrine is, we know what the Bible says but at the end of the day, they don’t put it in me that you have to change. I come to praise the lord just like everybody else, they can’t judge me because a judge is a sinners only one person would judge me, he God is the judge and the jury so I have to deal with that, I living my life God knows who I am, he knows my heart, he’s the reader of hearts and searcher of mind so, they can’t tell me well, you have to come off the life you can’t come to church, I come to praise God. No matter nobody can cover God, everybody have opinion at the end of the day.
Ulelli: Tell me what you would want to tell persons out there about gender expression, about the way you dress, how you trying to express yourself, because I guess a lot of people don’t understand what gender expression is, I mean today you might wake up and say, I want to wear this today and you wear this, tomorrow, you might want to dress differently. For you, what’s gender expression for you like, what do you want the person out there who doesn’t know anything about gender expression to understand.
Nikita: The thing about it is …
Ulelli: I mean about expressing yourself?
Nikita: First and foremost, you have to be true to yourself because you can study what people think about you and how they will deal with you, you owe it to yourself how to express yourself how you feel. If you feel pon a skirt, if you feel pon a bag and jeans, if you feel pon a sneakers and hat then rock that. Do it, you making you happy because if you can make you happy, you can make someone else happy out there because you might be with somebody who is out there and you hidden and you worried, I doh want this one to see me, I doh want that one to see me, I wonder what they would think about me, you cannot wonder what people think about you because I won’t lie, most of the people LGBT people are the highest paid people, look at McFarleen, Kita Majin, all these people, they are gay and look where they at, they are on top why, because they not studying what people think about them, they are very creative and they are high ranking, most of the people in government, there are few of them, they hide because of their stature, your stature should not have to put in a position where you have to hide who you is, your hiding who you is doesn’t make you feel good. Express yourself and be who you want to be. I don’t think hiding will make a difference because it will still come out in some form or fashion then you hiding it and somebody finds out is like you gay or you is a lesbian and it doesn’t change my blood, it doesn’t change the person who I am, it doesn’t change the colour of my skin. I am who I am, is either you accept me or you stay away from me, simple as that. That’s my message to people. You can’t study what people want you to be, be what who you want to be for yourself and that’s it.
Ulelli: Anything else you want to add?
Nikita: Just be who you are.
Ulelli: Thank you.
Nikita: No problem.